Have you experienced a bereavement? Are you struggling to cope with your feelings of grief and loss? Are you worried that how you are feeling is not normal? Know that you are not alone. I am experienced supporting people who are going through a loss or bereavement, including sudden and traumatic deaths like suicide, overdoses, illnesses and car accidents. I offer one to one counselling and I also co-facilitate bereavement support groups.

Information about the bereavement groups starting in 2021 is available here.

If you feel like you need some counselling support with your grief and loss please get in contact by calling me on 07875 493188 or emailing keylifetherapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to talk with you about what you feel you need at the moment.

It might be helpful for you to know that a lot may happen to you physically as well as psychologically when someone dies, a relationship ends, you lose your job or your home, or you suffer some other deep loss. Grief extends across physical and mental boundaries, and you may have:

• feelings which are commonly associated with grief, such as: shock, numbness, sadness, despair, anger, fear, guilt or relief
• physical sensations in your body. People also often seem to be more vulnerable to physical illnesses at this time
• behaviours such as sleep disturbance, mood swings and loss or gain of appetite
• cognitive reactions such as a sense of overwhelm, disbelief and confusion
• spiritual reactions, including dreaming and experiencing the presence of your loved ones/ places.

All of these feelings, behaviours and sensations are a part of the grieving process. How you experience them is unique to you and it can feel very far from how you normal experience life and the world. There is no normal or right way to experience grief. And, there is no set period of time within which you can be expected to “get over it”, no set pattern in which your grief can be expected to play out. Sometimes it can be helpful to just talk to someone and be reassured that this is all part of the process. Sometimes you might feel you need a little more support.

There are also some different models which recognise common phases and stages of grief and loss which you might be experiencing and sometimes it can be helpful to know a little more about the range of experiences that people go through when they have had an experience like you are going through now. Some common phases of grief include: shock, numbness, separation and pain, then despair, which might be followed by acceptance and then resolution and reorganisation. In the final stages of grief, new patterns of life are established without the deceased, sometimes referred to as an emotional relocation of the deceased from the head to the heart. This might be a period of experiencing and reflecting on meaning.

However, remember your grief and sense of loss is unique to you and it will not follow a set pattern. You may not experience grief in a specific way, because people are individuals and no two bereavements, griefs or losses will be the same. Suffering grief and loss can also be one of the most distressing experiences most people will go through, so it is important to take care of yourself physically and mentally and seek the support that you need during this time.

There’s also more information on my blog about grief and how groups, therapy and journaling are all things that may support you if you are struggling as you go through that process. You don’t have to do it all on your own.